Sam : Hello, Bo. What's this then?
Tom : What's what, Sam?
Sam : The grease rack?
Tom : Oh, I hadn't noticed that grease rack. I don't know what it's for.
Sam : Well, maybe we can figger it out.
Tom : Maybe Bill is going to grease the turntables.
Sam : Or maybe Ruth is going to deep fry some potatoes.
EFFECTS: (Rattle oil cans)
Tom : In Quaker State forty weight?
Sam : I hear Bill likes greasy food.
Tom : I hear Bill just got OUT of the hospital.
Sam : Maybe it's for polishing shoes.
Tom : A grease rack?
Sam : I got it, Bo. Bill can stand on it and raise it real high to fix a broken satellite.
Tom : Possibly. But I'll bet it's to replace the bulbs in the ceiling lights.
Sam : Then what are these barrels of grease for, Bo?
Tom : Oh, I forgot about those. Maybe he's opening a doughnut shop. The rack is to raise the dough and the grease is to deep-fry the doughnuts.
Sam : I don't think so, Bo.
Tom : Well, Bill is always trying to raise dough!
Sam : And he's usually boiling in his own oil.
Tom : What?
Sam : I gotta go. Let me know when you find out what it's for. See ya, Bo.
Tom : Hello Muggins. I didn't see you over there.
Muggins: What are you doing with that air compressor?
Tom : What air compressor?
Muggins: That one.
Tom : Oh! I didn't see the air compressor.
Muggins: You're sitting on it.
Tom : Well, I must not have looked down. I wonder what it's here for?
Muggins: Don't you know?
Tom : No. Do you?
Muggins: No, I don't know. Is it to run the turntables?
Tom : Bill bought electric turntables... oh... months ago.
Muggins: Maybe it's to pump air to the center of the Earth.
Tom : Forget about the center of the Earth already. Anyway, Bill made you two fill up that hole last week.
Muggins: I know. He's going to use it to blow up balloons.
Tom : No. Bill has dynamite for that.
Muggins: Well, what's it for then?
Tom : Maybe it's for... polishing shoes.
Muggins: How can it do that?
Tom : Take your shoes off.
EFFECTS: (Lions roaring)
Muggins: OK, they're off.
Tom : Put these on, quick!
EFFECTS: (Roaring fades quickly)
Muggins: What were those?
Tom : Silencers for your loud socks.
Muggins: I didn't come here to be insulted!
Tom : Where do you usually go to be insulted?
Muggins: I go vist Jack Ke... Hey. What do you mean by that?
Tom : So you don't know what this air compressor is for.
Muggins: No. I don't know what it's for.
Tom : Then why did you bring it in here?
Muggins: Um... Uh... I didn't bring it in here. You were sitting on it.
Tom : Well. you found it. What did you find it for?
Muggins: Oh yur. I did find it, didn't I. Well, I don't know. Could I lose it again?
Tom : Throw your coat over it.
EFFECTS: (Air compressor)
Tom : Did you have to wear a loud shirt too?
Muggins: Listen here...
Tom : I can't hear you over your shirt!
Muggins: Never mind. I'm leaving.
Hot Rod: Hello Mr. Tom. How come that gas pump is there?
Tom : Oh, hello Hot Rod. I don't know what the gas pump is for. I don't know what the air compressor is for and I don't know what the grease rack is for.
Hot Rod: I know what it's for. I just wondered why it's sitting here and not in fwont of my gas station.
Tom : Your what?
Hot Rod: My gas station. You know, where you fix caws and fill them with gas.
Tom : Yes, I know what a gas station is. But what are you talking about?
Hot Rod: You see that sign that says, "Stop hewe and get gas"?
Tom : Yes. Isn't that left over from Bill's last barbeque?
Hot Rod: Yeah, it is. But I got the idea of using it for a gas station.
Tom : And what are you going to call it?
Hot Rod: "People's Natural Gas".
Tom : No. That's from Bill's barbeque. You have to think of a different name.
Hot Rod: How 'bout, "Hot Wod Gas"?
Tom : That's not bad. How about, "Gas up your hot rod with Hot Rod"?
Hot Rod: I don't get it.
Tom : "Fill 'er up at our down-home prices".
Hot Rod: How 'bout, "Belt up or I'll kick your shin"?
Tom : "Our stop will make you go!" "Get our gas and pass."
Tom : Ow! What did you kick me in the shin for.
Hot Rod: I wanna hear a wecord.
Tom : What 'wecord'.
Tom : Ow!
Hot Rod: Stop talkin' funny!
Tom : Well, how do I know what you want to hear?
Hot Rod: This! This wight here!
Tom : I thought that was a pizza from Bill's last barbeque.
Hot Rod: It's a 78 RPM wecord. Will you just pway it.
Tom : Let's see it. Oh, this is an old goodie. Cousin Snorkel playing a tribute to Crazy Otto.
EFFECTS: (Streetcar Enters)
Cooper : I vant-it grease job.
Tom : A grease job? At a radio staion? Oh, you mean the gas station. You'll have to speak to Hot Rod.
Cooper : That kid? I just chase him off from tracks. Hey you, I vant-it grease job?
Hot Rod: Well, you'll have to pull onto the grease rack.
Cooper : All right.
EFFECTS: (Streetcar Enters)
Hot Rod: That's far enough! That's far enough!
Cooper : Hey, I bring-it you record.
Tom : Lee Alan, "Set Me Free". Where did you get this?
Cooper : I get it by Denny Nichols.
Tom : Denny Nichols?
Cooper : Sure. He don't have token for ride into town so he give-it me record.
Tom : (Read from record jacket) And Denny wrote 1964 on here. Let's see what it sounds like.
EFFECTS: (Lions growling & Comical engine)
Hot Rod: What's that noise Mr. tom?
Tom : It's Muggins sneaking in with his coat in one hand and his shoes in the other.
Hot Rod: How do you know it's Mr. Muggins.
Tom : Because nobody else wears such loud socks and shirt.
Hot Rod: Oh. Why does he have those globs of color on them.
Tom : That's his camofloudge suit. he thinks those irregular splotches of color make him blend into the background.
Hot Rod: Does it work?
Tom : Only if he's attended a coronation at the local engine house. Otherwise royal purple and fire engine red don't really blend in.
Hot Rod: I see what you mean. Hey! Where'd he go? Oh, there he is. He disappeared for a second.
Tom : I stand corrected. There are rare occasions when royal purple and fire engine red make good camofloudge. He just walked in front of Bill!
Tom : Hello Muggins.
Muggins: I'll bet you didn't see me over there. Hey, why are you covering your eyes.
Tom : Have you ever heard of "snow blindness"?
Muggins: Oh, is that what it is. I'll get my snow shovel.
Tom : Just put your coat back on.
EFFECTS: (Comical engine stops)
Muggins: There. Is that better? Did you see me Hot Rod?... Hot Rod!
Tom : I think he's passed out.
Muggins: My socks aren't that bright. Are they?
Tom : I don't think it's the color. It's the smell! put your shoes back on. (Coughs)
EFFECTS: (Lion stops)
Tom : Thank you! To what do we owe this surprise visit?
Muggins: I came in case Hot Rod needed help greasing Cooper's streetcar.
Hot Rod: It's alweady done. Hey Mr. Cooper! Your stweetcar is done.
Cooper : You grease it good?
Hot Rod: I gweased all the wheels.
Cooper : Vhat you mean you grease-it vheels. You supposed to grease-it axles. How I get to Poland with grease on-it vheels?
Hot Rod: I filled it up with gasoline too. You ought to have plenty to get to Poland. It took about eight hundred gallons.
Cooper : Stritcara be electric! You don't put gasoline. Vhat you mean?
Hot Rod: Oh, oh. I think I gotta scwam!
Cooper : Hey you, come back here. You fill-it stritcara vith gasoline. The seats, they floating. Vhere everybody going to sit vithout dey drown? Scotora Mull! Keesno brovniak! Bugars!