Tom____: Aren't you a little old to run for President Sam?
Sam____: How old do you think I am, Bo?
Tom____: You don't look a day over ninety.
Sam____: You know very well I'm seventy-seven, you young wiseacre!
Tom____: We need a young, modern running mate to boost your image. I wonder who.....
Hot Rod: Hi Mr. Tom.
Tom____: Muggins, we were thinking of running you for vice.
Muggins: I don't need any more vices. People say I have too many now.
Tom____: That's not what I meant... Wait a minute, that could be just the gimmick we need to get attention! What kind of vices do you have?
Muggins: I went to carpenter school and I have a whole workbench full of vices.
Tom____: I think we'll need a better gimmick than that.
Muggins; I think I should run for President.
Tom____: You... Run for President... With those knees?
Muggins: I think I'm perfectly qualified to run as an independent candidate.
Tom____: In what way are you qualified as an indpendent candidate?
Muggins: I have big ears!
Tom____: You have a point there.
Muggins: I know, but my ears are on either side of it.
Tom____: How do big ears qualifiy you as an independent.
Muggins: While the other candidates are spouting hot air, I can flap my ears to cool things off.
EFFECTS: (Wobble board)
Tom____: And now, here he is... the Nostalgia party's candidate for President of the United States.... Bill bragg!